“Life gives us the option to flourish or self destruct.” Those words were spoken to me by a mentor I had many years ago. Wise words that have given me the ability to understand how to respond when times have become challenging.

Right now we are experiencing such times. For some of us there is no choice but to wait and see what happens. We may have a business, a career or “day job” that we like and simply pray that we can get back to it.

For others there is the limbo. The unknown and the uncertainty of it all. It brings, anger, resentment, anxiety, depression and hopelessness. There comes a point where we either go under, or rise above it – “flourish or self-destruct”.

The self destruction requires only a mindset. A mindset of giving up and walking away delivers the destruction. Lives fall apart. Relationships crumble. Finances implode.Health suffers. Even suicide in extreme cases becomes an issue.


The reasons for the above can be many. However one issue that triggers most of it is “control” or LACK of control.

Focusing on the issues beyond our control delivers zero benefits and creates only frustration. Dealing with the ones we do control at least gives us a focus and the ability to make some progress – and – PROGRESS is the key to improving our situation. Progress is actually a key to happiness. Think of areas of your life where zero progress is the normal and you will find unease and unhappiness. The areas of your life that are making progress deliver much more in terms of happiness.

Flourishing, therefore, requires understanding. Understanding the areas of our “limbo” that we do control versus the areas we don’t.

Directional Thoughts

Directing our thoughts is critical. Undirected thoughts lead to frustration. Directed thoughts deliver results.

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Imagine giving a script to a group of actors and just letting them loose to play it out with no direction. You get chaos, disjointed storylines and even in the best scenarios a result that falls below its potential. Give the same group a director and the outcome is more profitable. You get a plan, a vision and an outcome that has flourished under the guidance of someone who is in control.

If we wish to flourish we must understand what parts of our circumstances we can control and those we cannot. Anything else leads to destruction.

During these times I urge you to take time out. List everything you can about your situation. On one list put stuff you have control over and on the other, the stuff that is invading your life but you cannot control. Burn the second list. Literally burn it.

Take your list of things you control and do the tiniest thing you can to move one one thing forward.

Begin it today!